The Cycliste Moderne, July 7, 2005

Robbie McEwen is a Five Year Old Girl, Too

Robbie McEwen, the Australian national cycling champion who races for Belgium’s Lotto-Davitamon, is my least favorite cyclist next to Gilberto Simoni. Although he is very fast, as evidenced by his multiple sprint wins at the Giro d’Italia, he is utterly lacking in charm. I have met a lot of Australians in my travels and participation in international events. I never thought it possible for there to be an uncool Australian. However, McEwen, the winner of Stage 5 of the Tour de France is totally uncool.

He did have a breakthrough today in winning the stage. However, in case you missed it, let’s take you back to Stage 3. At the finish, McEwen sprinted too late and got boxed in. As Boonen surged for the line Stuart O’Grady, a truly cool Australian and Olympic gold medalist in the Madison, attempted to get on Boonen’s wheel. As he did so, he and McEwen made contact. McEwen then head butted O’Grady twice while going 60kph. McEwen claimed that O’Grady elbowed him and that he was just trying to stay upright.

The overhead camera views do not show any more contact between the two than would be normally expected for such a sprint finish. O’Grady was obviously upset afterwards and told Cyclingnews.com "That was over the top! Sure, there's argy-bargy in the sprints but today was too much." Cameras at the street level clearly captured McEwen’s head butts and the race officials agreed with O’Grady’s assessment. McEwen was relegated to the back of the bunch and lost all of his sprint points for the stage.

In winning today, McEwen timed his sprint perfectly and beat Boonen for the first time. However, McEwen was unrepentant as reported by Velonews.com. He told reporters after his win today that, “The win today doesn't change my mind. I have watched the video enough times, the pictures enough times. There are other people who definitely know what they are talking about who agree with me. One of them is Sean Kelly. He's not a nobody. He has won the green jersey five times. Eddy Merckx has won the Tour five times and he agrees with me as well.”

That sounds a lot like my daughter’s invocations of “it’s not fair” to excuse bad behavior. Nobody would have gotten relegated had McEwen literally kept his head about him. You are never going to convince anyone that your head accidentally got in the way of Stuart O’Grady while sprinting to the line. Anyway, it is nice to have competitive sprints even if McEwen is the winner.


Tour Fashion Review #3

French team Bouygues Telecom is sporting turquoise and white kits this year. I have already offered my opinions about Discovery Channel’s use of the color. Generally I am not a fan of turquoise/teal/sea foam blue/or any other derivation thereof. However, in adopting the exact color scheme of the team’s sponsor, Bouygues Telecom has actually pulled off a good design. It is distinctive and recognizable. If you are French, you automatically know who the sponsor is from a quick look at the jersey. It is not cluttered up with secondary logos. Unfortunately, the Bouygues Telecom logo and color scheme do not go well with polka dots. Although Thomas Voekler’s stay in the king of the mountains jersey was mercifully short, the bad color contrast means I have to give Bouygues Telecom an A-.


Johnny (Halladay) Come Latelys

It never ceases to amaze me how many people get interested in cycling during July solely because of Lance Armstrong. It will be interesting to see how the Johnny (Halladay) Come Latelys fare next year when Lance is retired. People see the 10 second news blurb that Armstrong is leading the race and ask how he did today and when you say he finished in the main pack with the same time they just don’t get it.

Even Al Trautwig, OLN’s resident know-nothing, seemed exasperated by American fans who were upset that Armstrong did not win every stage of the Tour de France. I just have to remember that this is my opportunity to educate the trendy masses of Johnny (Halladay) Come Latelys that there is so much more than Lance and that he has a team and that he does not win everyday and that it is OK for a red blooded American like myself to say, “You know, it is OK to be pulling for an Italian riding for a Danish team with an American sponsor.”

FYI: Johnny Halladay is considered the “French Elvis.” Leave it to the French to think there needs to be a French Elvis. There was only one Elvis. And if Mojo Nixon had just written another verse to “Elvis Is Everywhere,” he probably would have included Johnny Halladay in his list of people like Michael J. Fox that had no Elvis in him.